When I was in early high school, I took a summer improv class taught by college students. I loved it. I wouldn’t shut up about it for two years, but then I never did improv again.
Until this fall. I signed up for an eight-week intro course at Comedy Cafe Berlin on a yolo whim. And I felt like I had unlocked part of my brain that only was accessible during long periods of inactivity (see: early pandemic, winter breaks from college). It was silly, it was stupid, it was hilarious. Some of the sketches were sketchy, but by the time we got to the end-of-class show, I was once again in love with being on stage and making stuff up in real time.
Y’all know I like making stuff up anyway — like my NPR rap parody or my crafter WAP parody. My semiannual fake newspaper, copies of which are now in two university zine libraries. And my novel-in-progress, DAYTON BEACH. But I have now reached new levels of following through on silliness.
Last fall, at a boozy brunch, I pitched my friends a techno song called “Kostenloser Bürgertest” (eng.: free citizens’ test.) The signs were all over Berlin, advertising free Covid-19 testing, paid for by the German government and carried out by lightly trained workers in the foyers of restaurants, in empty storefronts and within convenience stores. The rhythm of the words matched a four-on-the-floor beat that stuck in my head while walking over to my friends’ place. Kostenloser Bürgertest. Kostenloser Bürgertest. Kostenloser Bürgertest. We joked around and made up some questionable lyrics for the song.
And then we forgot about it for about six months. By that point, the free Covid testing was over — though the signs remain all over the city. The summer of 2022 was full of hope: Germany had introduced the €9 ticket, which let you take local public transit anywhere in the country for the months of June, July and August. The past two pandemic summers had felt like missed opportunities. This summer would be different, right? Maybe.
In early summer, Kevin and I picked up the song idea again. And over the course of a few recording sessions and lots of edits and playing around, we came up with a party song that is totally our own (aside from the samples of speeches from Angela Merkel). We finished “Wir steigen ein (Kostenloser Bürgertest)” just in time to submit it to Germany’s Eurovision selection committee. It’s one of the silliest things I’ve ever done, and I’m so proud of it.
It’s a party song that only could’ve been written in the summer of 2022. Our biggest inspirations were Deee-Lite’s “Groove is in the Heart” and Fettes Brot’s “Schwule Mädchen.”
After considering many other bad band names (Bone Folder, Nettes Toast, Mello Vanello, Grace of Bass), when I proposed Bodega Crush, it was an instant yes. Bodega Crush is an acronym of my own name that I discovered in 2003 while taking Eric May’s letterpress class at Kent State. Kevin asked me, “Were you saving it for anything?” I replied, “Apparently this!”
I don’t know if we’ll hear back from Germany’s Eurovision selection committee — our song is currently just under 4 minutes, which is a minute too long for the show. (But we are open to edits! Call us, NDR!) But we’re having a hell of a time giving it all we’ve got.
| German lyrics | English lyrics |
| Willst du Party machen? Willst du fett feiern? Kumpel, pack dein Zeug ein Wir fahren ins Berghain Sofort aus Wanne Eickel Für 9 euro nach Berlin Bisse bräsig in der S-Bahn Knapp 9 Stunden geht’s dahin Durch Herne, Castrop-Rauxel Dortmund-Westerfilde Kamen, Hamm und Ahlen Gütersloh und Bielefeld [gibt’s doch] Haste, Wunstorf, Seelze Lehrte, Dedenhausen Gifhorn, Fallersleben Stendal und Rathenow [kostenloser Bürgertest] CHORUS Wir wollen nicht mehr warten Jetzt ist uns’re Zeit Zweiundzwanzig, wenn schon, denn schon Wir steigen ein! Wir wollen Party machen Wir wollen fett feiern Erstmal brauchen wir den Strich Und dann erst geht es rein Aber kostenlose testen kostet 14 euro 90? Aber bitte boah, wie viel Kohle gibt man denn in Berlin aus Du willst Party machen? Du willst fett feiern? Dicker, mach dein Handy aus Kein posten auf der Timeline Wir stehen erst in der Schlange Sie meint, ihr gefällt meinen Style Brudi, was willst du machen Wenn so eine Dame möchte doch vorbei Ja, ihre Besties auch Lass’ die ganze Truppe rein wir sehen uns drin wenn Sven sagt Bescheid nach dem kostenlosen Bürgertest Na “Heute leider nicht”? Dann zurück nach Wanne Eickel Mit dem 9 euro ticket Wieder in der Sbahn fahren wir weiter [Ja, die Fahrscheine bitte] Neun euro ticket, ham wir alle [Naja, es ist jetzt der 1. September das wird dann je 60 euro] | Do you wanna party? Do you wanna go hard? Bro, pack up your stuff We’re going to Berghain Immediately from Wanne Eickel For nine euro to Berlin Little unruly in the S-Bahn It’s gonna take 9 hours Through Herne, Castrop-Rauxel Dortmund-Westerfilde Kamen, Hamm und Ahlen Gütersloh and Bielefeld Haste, Wunstorf, Seelze Lehrte, Dedenhausen Gifhorn, Fallersleben Stendal and Rathenow [free citizens test!] CHORUS We can’t wait anymore Now is our time ‘22, do it to it Let’s get going! We want to party We want to go hard First we need a swab And then we can go in But free testing costs €14.90? Jeez, how much money you spend in Berlin! Do you wanna party? Do you wanna go hard? Dude, turn off your phone No posting on the timeline We’re standing in line And she’s like I like your style Bro, what are you gonna do When a cutie wants to get by? Yeah, her besties, too Let the whole group through! See you inside If Sven gives the OK, after the free citizens test! So “not today”? Then back to Wanne Eickel With the nine euro ticket We’ll arrive again at 9 in the morning [Yes, tickets please] Nine euro ticket, we all got it [Yes but today is the first of September] That will be 60 euro each |
grace dobush 